She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
