I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
