The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
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Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
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She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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