I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
