I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
