he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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