what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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