dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize