my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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