i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
