you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
