Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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