I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize