Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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