I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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