you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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