he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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