Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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