Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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