I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
