Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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