dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
