cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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