He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
