I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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