I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
