apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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