my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
