Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
