Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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