Well douche your snatch and let's go!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize