i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
