i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
