can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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