Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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