Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Quick, to the slutcave!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We're too hungover to prance.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
