Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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