i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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