seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
