Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
