i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
