I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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