Screwed.edu
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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