He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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