Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I use my feet as sexual weapons
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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