I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
