Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
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We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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