My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
