i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
