I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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