her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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