the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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