I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize