dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
