Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
