What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
