After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
