i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize